Sprocket, a curious Terrier, went to his water bowl. It had a bit of water left. He lapped the remaining water up with gusto, spilling a bit around the bowl. He then licked all the remaining water around the walls of the bowl until it was bone dry. Still, he needed more. You see, his kidneys are not functioning well and he is not able to concentrate his urine as well as they should. As a result, he loses more fluid than necessary and hence, is more thirsty than usual.
Luckily, his watchful guardian spotted him and went to refill his bowl. Sprocket then continued drinking until he felt better and walked happily away to continue his exploration of the garden. He is well hydrated and feeling much better about himself. His tank is filled.
We have a tank to fill as well (though not exclusively for water!). Let’s call it the ‘emotional’ tank. Using a bank as a metaphor, for you to withdraw anything, there needs to be something in there to start with. If there is nothing in your bank account, you will not be able to withdraw anything. In your daily undertakings and as you live each day, how often do you place a deposit in your emotional bank, your emotional tank? Do you keep your tank full? Or is it running on empty?
When it is empty, do you have a strategy to fill it up again? Do you feel responsible to fill up your tank personally or do you rely on others? Some depend on their relationship with their partner, children, or friends to fill up their tank. Their tanks are filled up according to how they are treated by others around them. If they feel they are treated nicely, their tanks automatically fill up. They depend on external factors sometimes beyond their control. If they are treated badly, they reflect upon themselves similarly and their tanks are depleted. When they feel they are treated badly for an extended period of time, the balance in their emotional bank account can run so low until a withdrawal is no longer possible and the books are in the red.
I would suggest that you take personal responsibility to fill up your own emotional bank account with positive deposits. By all means, that may be derived from others and how they interact with you but do not rely solely on that. It is your bank account. If you are not in charge of it, who would be? Learn what makes you fill with positivity and be sure to regularly make deposits into it. There will come a time when you will need to make a withdrawal and when that happens, your bank will have sufficient funds for you to make a withdrawal. You cannot draw your positivity when you have little to none. Just like how you are not able to make a withdrawal if your bank account is empty.
Life can be busy. Whether you are a mother, working full-time, chasing your goals and dreams, or just simply, trying to get by a day at a time, it can be time and energy-consuming. It can take all of your essences, your life-force, and precious vitality and before you know it, another day has passed, another week has been spent and next month’s doing became last month’s done. Depositing positivity into your emotional bank account seemed like a luxury, not a real thing, and easily ignored. However, when something suddenly happens that demands you to draw from your account, you may find that your funds are lacking. Or sometimes it is not a sudden unexpected event, it is a gradual grind, it is made up of endless monotonous toil (motherhood, especially in the early years, during COVID comes to mind), you are searching for a positive spark in life or a gleaming hope in the universe that life is amazing and you find yourself running on empty. In truth, you are only searching within yourself. It is a door that swings inwards, not outwards. It was your emotional bank balance that was empty, not that of the universe.
Be sure to dedicate time to make positive deposits in your emotional bank. You may rely on others but not completely. It is your responsibility for your personal account. Remember they have to fill their own banks too. Know that you can help them and that starts by helping yourself. How do you give something that you do not have? Ideally, work in such a way that when you place a positive deposit in others’ bank account, your own account is filled too. Making sure your account is filled when filling others is important as it makes it sustainable.
This can be extended to business too. Be sure to fill your customers’ emotional bank with positive deposits so their emotional bank balances are in positive black. When you need to make a withdrawal (when a mistake is made or anything to induce negative feelings), their funds are sufficient and they may not resent as much.
Learn what makes a positive deposit in your bank account, your emotional tank. Just like a wise investment, make little consistent deposits. It will allow your tank to be full and you would be able to draw from it whenever you need to. More importantly, it allows you to give more to others when required.
Here is a suggestion… Whenever possible, use Joy as your GPS with the people that surround you, the pursuits you do and the places are you are in. Choose to be around those people who fuel your joy. Perform those pursuits that feed your bliss. Be in those places that make you feel most alive.
Sprocket has filled his tank with water that he needed. What would you fill your tank up with?
“You can’t give what you do not have.”
Credit: Robin Sharma