A red, purple and orangish glow streaked the sky highlighting the wispy cirrus clouds as the sun begins to set. The wind was gentle, filling the air with the fragrance of fall. The colour of the heavens reflected the colours of the earth, covered with fallen autumn leaves. Jane was walking with Scooby, a beautiful six-year-old Golden Labrador by her side. The crackling of the leaves beneath their feet was the only sound they heard. After their daily walk, they were going home.
Where is home for you? Is it a location? Is it an idea or a perhaps, a person(s)? Home is usually where you feel safe, comfortable and relaxed. Home is important as it gives you somewhere to go to after your daily activities, whether they are physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. It is usually a place where you can be yourself. A place of no pretence, no filters and no ego. It is a place where you can be seen like how you arrive into the world, naked, helpless and vulnerable. When you arrive at that location or see that person(s), you find it familiar. Memories bombard you like waves crashing at the cliffs, your emotions change and you are able to let your guard down. You know you can let your guard down and you will not be hurt.
For many, it is a physical place. It may be where you grew up, it may be where you never left. It could be a place that you have dreamed of all your life and finally found it and create a home there. Sometimes you stay at the same place where you grew up, whether it is in the same house or the same area. You may have left your home before and found yourself moving back or closer to where you spent your childhood.
Or you may have left your home years ago and have wandered around the world in your life since. Your concept of home is no longer a physical place. You may have found your home in someone else, perhaps your partner (or children) and you felt that home was where they stood.
Maybe you grew up in a family that was moving around all the time. Perhaps your parents were in the military moving from base to base or on a boat, drifting from dock to dock or simply from house to house. Where is home for you then?
Is your home always a place of comfort and security for you? Do you sometimes dread going home? Are you completely at rest when you are home? Are you able to do so?
What if you consider home not to be a physical place or a person? What if it is merely an idea? More specifically, an emotional idea? You enjoy the concept of home because of the emotions it reminds and brings you. Physical locations may change. Any building or place may not be viable to live in. The state of relationships are not constant, emotions vary from day to day and children move out over time. What of your home then?
Are you able to consider home to an emotional idea? Are you able to cultivate your inner home? One within yourself, not constricted to physical locations or others? The world is getting smaller. Moving around is getting easier and possibly more attractive as your needs and wants may not be achievable or attainable in one location or where you grew up. Different places offer different opportunities. Even if you stayed in the same place, the place may change over time. Is it possible to guarantee a constant, a home to remain unchanged in a physical place?
Relationships between anyone including your partner or even children can change or end. What happens if that relationship is used as an anchor for your home? Is it possible to guarantee a constant, a home to remain unchanged in relationships?
Creating an emotional home in yourself will allow you to have a home where you stand. You do not need a physical building to call home. Not having a home in others does not mean that you isolate yourself and not invest in relationships. In fact, it is quite the opposite. It is taking care of yourself to enable you to build the best relationship with them. A relationship that purely exists to fulfil the role of bringing out the best from both parties, helping the other in their journey to self-discovery. Vulnerability is shared and encouraged as it builds trust and depth.
Learning to control your emotions is not straightforward and is usually a life long feat to be exercised daily. When you can control your emotions, you can create an emotional home where you can reside and come home to after your daily activities in the evening or sometimes even ‘nip home’ from time to time when needed during the day. It allows you to ‘go home’ and see yourself in your purest and natural state when you need to. It allows you to take a break from the world and rest in your sovereign soul where you know you are safe. Having a healthy emotional home is of utmost importance as it is where you can retreat and recharge before you deliver the best you can be to serve all around you.
Jane and Scooby enjoy going home as much as they enjoyed going out. How far do you travel to go home? Is your home how you want it to be?
‘Your emotional home is a place you come back to every day’ – Tony Robbins